For a woman, the joy of sex is not just about feeling her vagina filled with a penis, but also centers on the emotional connection, the intimacy, and the expression of love. This is why it is important for that a man shows concern and care (and knows how to give a woman an orgasm!) The fact he takes the time and trouble to pleasure her shows he cares and loves her…. However, there are always issues to be dealt with. 

Vagina and penis size

You might think that since the clitoris is the main organ behind a woman’s orgasm, the size of the penis inside her vagina is rather irrelevant to her chances of reaching orgasm and enjoying sexual intercourse.

However, if a woman has any kind of pain during intercourse then it can stop both partners achieving sexual pleasure. Consider dyspareunia, a name given to a wide group of conditions which manifest as painful intercourse. It seems that  a common problem  here is that a woman is tense during intercourse, as a result of which her vaginal muscles are tight. This can make penetration uncomfortable.

A combination of Kegel exercises and relaxation just before sex may help you to achieve orgasm. However muscular reactions like dyspareunia are sometimes due to aversive events which need  medical attention or psychotherapy to alleviate their effects. (Having said that, it maybe a question of needing more lube! If so, choose a good artificial lube and use plenty of it.)

And if it helps you to feel relaxed, take control during sex: guide your lovers’ penis into your vagina with your hand, and take it in at a rate with which you feel comfortable.

Try a slight bearing down with your vaginal muscles during penile insertion. This may help because you cannot tighten your vaginal muscles at the same time as you bear down with them.

There are certain sexual positions which make insertion easier. For example, the woman on top positions make insertion easier. You can then move into any other sexual position you choose before you begin lovemaking proper…

All of these things take some practice, so don’t worry if you feel awkward initially. This is only natural! Slow, gentle foreplay and talking things over with your partner before sex may be enough to cure the problem.

If not, you may wish to see a doctor who can treat the condition or a therapist who can take you deeper into the issues underlying these sexual problems.

When you’re a man discovering how to give a woman an orgasm, you may find that giving her a peak sexual experience is harder than you think.

Enjoy Sexual Intercourse More – Giving A Woman The Orgasms She Desires

You may not be surprised to learn that men often enjoy sexual intercourse more than women. However, the pleasure achieved during depends very much on the level of comfort that each member of the couple has with sex.

Pleasure is also about the simple mechanics of sex – the penis does not stimulate the clitoris during thrusting, so the woman gets less physical pleasure from this than the man gets as his penis moves in her vagina.

There is of course no reason why a couple should not use a finger or two, or a sex toy like a vibrator, on a woman’s clitoris to give her additional pleasure during intercourse. Most women need additional stimulation if they are to reach orgasm during intercourse.

A popular approach is “she comes first“: the women reaches orgasm during oral play or masturbation before penetration, when the man achieves his pleasure. One problem here is that many women are taught, or absorb the awareness, that somehow the vagina is the primary female sexual organ. The clitoris tends to be much less well-known and appreciated!

However, it is the clitoris that is the route to sexual pleasure for the great majority of women. Stimulating the clitoris during intercourse is more or less the same as stimulating the penis for a man.

Women: If this is not important to you (or even if it is) be sure to let your partner know how hard and fast you would like him to thrust. That way, you can maintain the stimulation (and possibly your arousal) at a level that will give you more pleasure.

When you switch from finger play with your clitoris to intercourse, you may feel that your arousal has dropped. That’s why it is a good idea to keep stimulating the clitoris so that you can enjoy ongoing arousal.

If you want to rely on vaginal thrusting alone to maintain your arousal, then it is likely that you will want your man to be able to continue thrusting for long periods before he ejaculates.

Remember that men will not know what you desire at any particular time. For example, you may feel in need of different kinds of stimulation at different times in your monthly cycle.

In all cases you should feel free to communicate your desires to your partner so that he can give you the pleasure you wish from sex, whether this involves additional clitoral stimulation or not during intercourse.

What of simultaneous orgasm?

The idea of simultaneous orgasm is a nice, romantic one, but very few couples actually enjoy the pleasure of simultaneous coming during sex. Indeed, trying to make this happen can lead to you getting hung up on timing. You struggle with questions of who’s going faster and who’s going slower, or what to do if you aren’t both as aroused as each other, and so on.

The pressure this produces can interrupt the natural flow of events towards a successful sexual outcome. In fact, it can lessen your sexual pleasure. For example, trying to “hold back” if you’re getting more aroused than your partner can stop your natural progression towards orgasm and lead to disappointment. Indeed, sex tends not to work so well when you are thinking more about your partner’s pleasure than your own (unless you are taking in in turns, one at a time, to reach orgasm).

For women in particular, focusing on things like when you’re going to reach orgasm may in fact prevent you from having one at all!

Of course it can be great to have a simultaneous orgasm. Just don’t expect it all the time, and when it happens, enjoy it for what it is. At other times, take pleasure in the fact that your partner is having their orgasm and support them as they bask in the joy of that experience.