Orgasms For Women During Lovemaking
You’ve heard of the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT for short). That’s why you’re here. Trying to understand it, I guess.
The fact is, learning how to enjoy the CAT takes patience and plenty of practice. And a new way of thinking.
The thing is, a lot of us learned about sex from porn. And of course, one of the images that you see over and over again in porn is the man thrusting in and out like a piston.
To enjoy the coital alignment technique, you’ll have to learn some new tricks. However, this might just do your relationship a lot of good, because women’s #1 complaint is that they are left without an orgasm during intercourse.
The man’s rush to orgasm is NOT what the CAT is all about. It’s about pleasuring your partner in a way that she really appreciates. This is a different approach to sex – and it’s just as satisfying for the man.
How To Use The Coital Alignment Technique
You’re going to enjoy small, subtle movements of your bodies while enjoying full body contact – movements that focus on the clitoris.
And you’re going to repeat these small movements in a way that you might if you were pleasuring a woman: that is, you’re going to repeat the same movements rhythmically until she comes.
Sure, there are many other ways to make a woman come, that’s a fact. The coital alignment technique is just one approach to orgasm during intercourse.
(Instructions that follow adapted from Em and Lo.)
Step 1
Start in the basic missionary position
Get into the basic missionary position, with the woman lying on her back with her legs outside the man’s. He’ll lie with his legs very close together inside hers.
He raises himself on his arms to ensure that penetration is easy, but once inside her, he’s not gong to start the old in-out-in-out; instead he’s going to move, and change his position.
Step 2
So here we go. At this point he basically forgets the old rule: a gentleman should always take his weight on his arms.
Instead, when enjoying the coital alignment technique, he cups her shoulders with his arms under her armpits. That means he’s actually resting some of his weight on her body, and giving her a sense of pressure and full body contact.
He is taking some of his weight on his arms, though. The CAT isn’t about being uncomfortable.
So he’s got his penis in her vagina, and at this stage he moves his body along and up hers. That is to say, towards her head. By doing this, his pelvis and hers are directly aligned.
In other words, the two pelvises are on top of each other – which is where the phrase “coital alignment technique” comes from.
You won’t have forgotten, I guess, that his legs are lying close together and that they’re outstretched behind him, nor that his partner is going to rest her ankles on his calves.
The man shifts up his partner’s body to ensure his penis enters her in a more vertical orientation.
(Or she can simply leave them lying straight, on the bed, just outside his legs.) And the usual instruction at this point is that when the couple are in this position, his head is just to one side of her face.
Here’s a great video which explains the CAT.
I guess you might be struck by the obvious fact that if the couple are very different in height that actually won’t be possible. So remember: align the pelvises. (The “alignment” in this technique means aligning your pelvis with your partner’s.)
It may also have occurred to you that while the head of the man’s penis will still be in her vagina, it’s possible that some of the penile shaft will be outside of her vagina, and that shaft may even be pressing on the top part of her vulva. True. And so, if it sounds a bit confusing, the final instruction in Step 2 is to stay relaxed and don’t worry about getting it wrong. Practice makes perfect.
Step 3 in the Coital Alignment Technique
OK, so the man is pushing up along her body. At the same time the woman is going to tilt her pelvis away from him, which is to say down into the bed, so that his penis is going to come almost all the way out. If it’s done correctly she should feel the base of the penis pressing against her clitoris.
But this is a small movement, and needs to be limited so that the man’s penis does not fully pop out of the vagina.
Step 4
And now the man pushes down with his pelvis, which means that his whole body is going to shift downwards in relation to hers. His penis is going to enter her fully at the same time as she tilts her hips upwards. This will have the effect of enclosing his penis in her vagina.
The man is still lying on his partner, and just to reiterate the point, with some of his weight on his forearms, but with full body contact. The couple’s legs are still as straight as possible.
This is because the coital alignment technique requires the woman to keep her upper thighs and knees rather closer together than has become expected in the missionary position.
One expert says that between step 3 and step 4 the difference in position of the man’s pelvis is only about 4 inches. That means that in step 3, the man’s pelvis is directly above the woman’s. In step 4 it’s about 4 inches lower down her body, and closer to the bed, tipped at an angle and between her legs.
Step 5
You’re going to repeat what’s really a hip rocking movement over and over again. Effectively, as the man moves up, the woman tilts her pelvis down. As the woman tilts her pelvis up, he moves down.
So what you’re trying to do is maintain constant stimulation of the area between her pubic bone and her vaginal mouth. You are using the man’s penile shaft, his pubic bone and the weight of his body to stimulate that area on the woman.
Apparently, when you do it right, and you’ve got the rhythm going, the sensations you get with coital alignment are so completely different to normal intercourse that you move into a wonderful world of erotic sensation.
And, if you want yet more variation, it is possible to enjoy the technique with the woman on top; if you fancy trying that, here’s a link.
Difficulties You May Experience
A lot of people find the CAT difficult to understand and even more difficult to do.
That led to the development of the modified coital alignment technique, which offers a simpler way of giving the woman the stimulation she needs on her clitoris to make her come during intercourse.
As before, the man penetrates the woman as he would if they were making love in the traditional man on top or missionary position.
But this, remember, is about a different way of making love, so things do not proceed as normal.
This time the man shifts his position up the woman’s body and then she moves her legs together between the man’s legs.
This has the effect of tightening the vagina around the man’s erection, and in this way providing very strong sensations to the penis.
(The problem here being that the man may feel a desire to ejaculate very quickly. Hint: if so, then Lloyd Lester’s excellent program Ejaculation By Command can help. Check it out here.)
Now, it’s possible, with a bit of ingenuity, to have more-or-less normal thrusting movements, with the shaft of the penis stimulating the clitoris and providing the contact needed for orgasm.
Again, it is important that the man moves his weight forward keeps a rhythm going so that his partner is getting what she needs. This slowly builds stimulation, leading to what can be a very powerful orgasm.
Modified Alignment Technique
In the modified version of coital alignment, the thrusting motion more closely resembles that of normal intercourse.
You’ll recall, perhaps, that the normal CAT technique requires the man not to thrust as normal, but to move up and down from the hips.
As may be clear, when you employ the modified coital alignment technique, there is no such restriction. This feels more natural to most men.
Whether or not you can use the alignment technique to take a woman to orgasm depends on finding the “groove”, the right rhythm, the soothing movement of two bodies loving in synchrony.
But in either case, you can achieve female orgasm during intercourse.
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