For a woman, the joy of sex is not just about feeling her vagina filled with a penis, but also centers on the emotional connection, the intimacy, and the expression of love. This is why it is important for that a man shows concern and care (and knows how to give a woman an orgasm!) The fact he takes the time and trouble to pleasure her shows he cares and loves her…. However, there are always issues to be dealt with. 

Vagina and penis size

You might think that since the clitoris is the main organ behind a woman’s orgasm, the size of the penis inside her vagina is rather irrelevant to her chances of reaching orgasm and enjoying sexual intercourse.

However, if a woman has any kind of pain during intercourse then it can stop both partners achieving sexual pleasure. Consider dyspareunia, a name given to a wide group of conditions which manifest as painful intercourse. It seems that  a common problem  here is that a woman is tense during intercourse, as a result of which her vaginal muscles are tight. This can make penetration uncomfortable.

A combination of Kegel exercises and relaxation just before sex may help you to achieve orgasm. However muscular reactions like dyspareunia are sometimes due to aversive events which need  medical attention or psychotherapy to alleviate their effects. (Having said that, it maybe a question of needing more lube! If so, choose a good artificial lube and use plenty of it.)

And if it helps you to feel relaxed, take control during sex: guide your lovers’ penis into your vagina with your hand, and take it in at a rate with which you feel comfortable.

Try a slight bearing down with your vaginal muscles during penile insertion. This may help because you cannot tighten your vaginal muscles at the same time as you bear down with them.

There are certain sexual positions which make insertion easier. For example, the woman on top positions make insertion easier. You can then move into any other sexual position you choose before you begin lovemaking proper…

All of these things take some practice, so don’t worry if you feel awkward initially. This is only natural! Slow, gentle foreplay and talking things over with your partner before sex may be enough to cure the problem.

If not, you may wish to see a doctor who can treat the condition or a therapist who can take you deeper into the issues underlying these sexual problems.

When you’re a man discovering how to give a woman an orgasm, you may find that giving her a peak sexual experience is harder than you think.

Enjoy Sexual Intercourse More – Giving A Woman The Orgasms She Desires

You may not be surprised to learn that men often enjoy sexual intercourse more than women. However, the pleasure achieved during depends very much on the level of comfort that each member of the couple has with sex.

Pleasure is also about the simple mechanics of sex – the penis does not stimulate the clitoris during thrusting, so the woman gets less physical pleasure from this than the man gets as his penis moves in her vagina.

There is of course no reason why a couple should not use a finger or two, or a sex toy like a vibrator, on a woman’s clitoris to give her additional pleasure during intercourse. Most women need additional stimulation if they are to reach orgasm during intercourse.

A popular approach is “she comes first“: the women reaches orgasm during oral play or masturbation before penetration, when the man achieves his pleasure. One problem here is that many women are taught, or absorb the awareness, that somehow the vagina is the primary female sexual organ. The clitoris tends to be much less well-known and appreciated!

However, it is the clitoris that is the route to sexual pleasure for the great majority of women. Stimulating the clitoris during intercourse is more or less the same as stimulating the penis for a man.

Women: If this is not important to you (or even if it is) be sure to let your partner know how hard and fast you would like him to thrust. That way, you can maintain the stimulation (and possibly your arousal) at a level that will give you more pleasure.

When you switch from finger play with your clitoris to intercourse, you may feel that your arousal has dropped. That’s why it is a good idea to keep stimulating the clitoris so that you can enjoy ongoing arousal.

If you want to rely on vaginal thrusting alone to maintain your arousal, then it is likely that you will want your man to be able to continue thrusting for long periods before he ejaculates.

Remember that men will not know what you desire at any particular time. For example, you may feel in need of different kinds of stimulation at different times in your monthly cycle.

In all cases you should feel free to communicate your desires to your partner so that he can give you the pleasure you wish from sex, whether this involves additional clitoral stimulation or not during intercourse.

What of simultaneous orgasm?

The idea of simultaneous orgasm is a nice, romantic one, but very few couples actually enjoy the pleasure of simultaneous coming during sex. Indeed, trying to make this happen can lead to you getting hung up on timing. You struggle with questions of who’s going faster and who’s going slower, or what to do if you aren’t both as aroused as each other, and so on.

The pressure this produces can interrupt the natural flow of events towards a successful sexual outcome. In fact, it can lessen your sexual pleasure. For example, trying to “hold back” if you’re getting more aroused than your partner can stop your natural progression towards orgasm and lead to disappointment. Indeed, sex tends not to work so well when you are thinking more about your partner’s pleasure than your own (unless you are taking in in turns, one at a time, to reach orgasm).

For women in particular, focusing on things like when you’re going to reach orgasm may in fact prevent you from having one at all!

Of course it can be great to have a simultaneous orgasm. Just don’t expect it all the time, and when it happens, enjoy it for what it is. At other times, take pleasure in the fact that your partner is having their orgasm and support them as they bask in the joy of that experience.

Female Sexual Dysfunction – Anorgasmia

Masters and Johnson believed that cultural bias against women held back research in female sex response. (And of course, female sexuality as a force for good, freely expressed.) Men had the permission – indeed, the expectation and encouragement of society – to develop their sexuality in a natural context. Women, then, were not so permitted. And in many cultures, even now this remains the status quo.

Growing girls were taught to repress or romanticize their sexual expressions, and the hope was expressed that they would be “good” girls. That meant, not have any active sexual feelings or sex activity until they married. The question Masters and Johnson asked was: How can a woman suddenly permit herself to be sexually responsive when she marries with a background like this?

Women were (and continued to be) forced to inhibit or distort their sexuality to the point where they could not even achieve orgasm honestly in the privacy of the bedroom. Masters and Johnson set out to change this. They clarified the nature of female sexual response.

What happens to a woman in the process of sexual response?

Her muscles become tense. There is a pooling of blood in certain tissues, producing a discernible pink blush in the skin and an increase in breast size. Her vagina lubricates and expands or “tents,” ready to accommodate the penis. The clitoris erects and flattens out, ready to respond to contact with the male penis.

The uterus itself actually gets bigger and when orgasm occurs the outer third of the vagina and the uterus both begin to throb and undergo contractions that are accompanied by a high level of sensual pleasure.

Immediately afterward there is a rapid letdown of both muscle tension and blood congestion. The woman who has been stimulated to the point of orgasm and not achieved it takes a lot longer to relax and get muscles and blood cells back to normal.

We are too concerned with orgasmic dysfunction. But orgasmic dysfunction is not confined to older women. An 18-year-old coed may bed down with numerous boyfriends but she may never have an orgasm unless she demands it. Even now, about ten percent of women remain anorgasmic, and few experience orgasm during intercourse.

Two  features separate male from female sexual dysfunction 

1 A man can usually satisfy himself sexually regardless of whether he has a sexually responsive partner or not. He may have a better experience with a responsive female, but he can orgasm easily anyway. To experience orgasm during intercourse, a woman is dependent on a sexually competent partner.

2 The woman is usually captive to the age-old idea that it’s her duty, primarily, to satisfy her partner. She rarely feels free to say, “Never mind what you want. This is what I want.” Many women have said they get a bigger sexual charge out of cunnilingus than penile penetration – but how many women feel free to take charge of a sexual encounter?

So Masters and Johnson got some fairly angry women coming to see them – and therapists today will still relate the same story. These women feel they’ve been subjected to discrimination and shortchanged.

Sexual problems do not mean the end of your sex life!

Masters and Johnson met a few women who could not masturbate or be successfully manipulated to orgasm by hand or mouth but could reach orgasm during ordinary sexual intercourse. This was an unusual and presumably small group! 

Another group included women who have never experienced orgasm from sex with penetration, but who can and do, with or without a partner (male or female), reach orgasm with other kinds of stimulation.

A third group of women have infrequent and unpredictable orgasms, whether by conventional sex or other methods. What bothers them is that they aren’t confident. They can’t tell when they go to bed and begin sex play if they will have an orgasm or not. Either way, they don’t know why. (Here is some data on the frequency of female orgasm.)

Masters and Johnson spoke repeatedly of how easily a sexual relationship is distorted or used as the focus for a nonsexual problem.  For example, problems seeming to be about a lack of orgasm may hide  low sexual libido. Also, sex can be used to relieve tension, to gain status, to obtain reassurance, to flatter one’s vanity, to express love, and to gain a certain amount of control over the behavior of others. In short, it is not only a loving act but can also be a vehicle for establishing one’s sense of power. 

Low sexual drive

Women who had nothing wrong but had a low sexual drive were described by Masters and Johnson. They believed that a sexually healthy woman was one who could masturbate successfully as well as respond to her partner’s caresses. And they emphasized that some women needed to be “given permission”: to be told that sex is alright and that it is fine to want to learn how to enjoy sex.

Implicit in this is the idea that if a woman has been faking orgasm, she has to stop. If she has been cheerfully accommodating, she has to stop that, also. The sex partners have got to be helped to adopt the “give and get” concept and behave toward one another with honesty and equality. 

Sensate Focus

Most sexual therapy is based on a technique called sensate focus. When a non-orgasmic woman and her partner practice the art of orgasm, here’s how it goes:

Step 1: The man sits up against the headboard of the bed. Unless the headboard is padded, he will probably wish to pad his back with pillows.

Step 2: The man spreads his legs and his woman, with her back against his chest, sits between his legs. Her back is resting against his chest. His arms are around her waist and clasped over her stomach. Her hands are under his thighs, holding on to the backs of his knees.

Step 3: The man waits for her request to insert his penis. He can stimulate her breasts, kiss her neck. The position means that the man is unlikely to directly touch the woman’s clitoris in a manner that hurts or irritates her.

Some women indicate that they like to have the clitoris directly stimulated. Most don’t. For many it’s painful, or just plain annoying. When both are sitting upright with the woman’s back resting on the man’s chest it’s up to him to do the teasing.

His partner should be producing natural juices and the man’s fingers will gently but suggestively spread the natural lubricant over the entire vulva area.

Step 4: The penis gently, undemandingly, is thrust into the vagina. The man at this stage is supposed to be warm, tender, altogether giving. Masters and Johnson recommended that he should let his partner drift along and learn to feel good about the vaginally contained penis without any obligation to pay back “his” ecstasy.

In this kind of therapy, each experience was a step forward, even the failures. When serious failures occurred, the couple went back to the beginning and started over with the early exercises of sensate focus.

About 80 percent of couples finally made it (i.e. the woman reached orgasm during intercourse). The day after success with the “male undemanding sex position” the woman turned around and assumed the “woman on top sex position”. This is the man lying on his back, the woman squatting over his hips; then they rolled over to the recommended side by side sex position. Then, the man can signal the woman to use the squeeze play (see page on premature ejaculation – click here – for more information).

If ejaculation occurred too soon (i.e. before the woman reached orgasm), the next sexual contact was redesigned as follows: the woman who was trying to become orgasmic was told, “The penis belongs to you just as much as your vagina belongs to him!” She was instructed to withdraw if she wasn’t ready. Many women needed this kind of reassurance.

Women who were lucky enough to have concerned, loving, and helpful partners were the ones who became orgasmic. A few managed to “break through” without partner help, but not many.

How To Have An Orgasm During Intercourse

There are plenty of other forms of sexual activity which a couple can enjoy, all of which may or may not give you an orgasm, and all of which may or may not take the place of sexual intercourse for a couple during a session of sex.

 In other words, sex does not begin and end with intercourse, though it is fair to say that for most men it is an important aspect of their sexual lives.

But it can be very freeing to get away from the belief that makes sexual intercourse the most important (or even the only valid) form of sexual activity between a couple.

It may also take away pressure – both physical and emotional – if a couple decide to stop having sexual intercourse every time they get sexual and instead substitute masturbation, oral sex, cuddling, massage, sucking, licking, kissing and other forms of sex play.

This may well enable men with premature ejaculation to control themselves much better, and to enable men with delayed ejaculation to reach a level of arousal at which they can comfortably ejaculate.

A relevant question here, of course, is the connection (or lack of it) between love and sex – what makes us fall in love, what makes us feel sexual desire, and do they always go together?

The best way to get around this question is to ensure that the man knows how to give a woman an orgasm, and that she knows the way he likes to be pleasured.

How a man can “give” a woman an orgasm

First, be aware that very few women do reach orgasm during intercourse, and it’s actually quite natural not to have an orgasm during sex. As long as she gets an orgasm at some point, through manual play (masturbation, to be less coy) or oral sex, then all is well. You need, as always, to talk to your partner about what the issues are for you both in sexual intercourse and how you reach orgasm…..so think about these things:

• How do you feel if sex does not include intercourse?

• What does sexual intercourse mean to you – is it a sign of love? Is it a sign of commitment?

• What is the significance that leads you to put such an importance on sex?

• Does sexual intercourse lead to you feeling emotionally more connected to your partner?

• What do you enjoy about sexual intercourse besides the physical pleasure of penetration (e.g. greater intimacy, satisfying your partner, feeling him inside you)?

• How important do you think it is for the man to ejaculate – and how does it feel if that happens outside your vagina?

• How do you both feel if the female partner has an orgasm but this does not take place during intercourse?

Sexual intercourse carries a lot of emotional significance, so spend a little time now just thinking about what it actually means to you both: consider what it signifies, and what meanings you derive from it and how these relate to your relationship. For example, you may need to change the way you have sexual intercourse so that it accommodates both partners’ feelings of love and sexual desires… 

Orgasm and sexual intercourse

If you desire to have orgasm during intercourse, there are several ways you can do more of what is working for you – but 
remember that there is no pressure to perform here. This is not about having an orgasm every time you have intercourse. Indeed, the less pressure you feel, the more relaxed you will be and the better your sexual experience is likely to be.

As you become more sexually aware, more orgasmic, you will enjoy sex more and more and find that your arousal increases and you slip naturally into the experience of sex.

But until then, you may find that various feelings and emotions come up which make it hard for you to enjoy sex fully.

Suppose, for example, that feelings associated with past negative experiences of sex come up: the easiest way to deal with these is to talk to your partner about them and express them, rather than hold them inside.

Discharging them is much healthier and more likely to assist you in letting go of sexual inhibitions. In addition, sharing your feelings will bring you closer as a couple, and it may also help you to achieve your objective of reaching orgasm.

Within a relationship, the giving and receiving of orgasm is not one partner’s prerogative. A man needs to know how to do what will pleasure himself and pleasure his partner. The same is true for a woman.  Sometimes you need to try and work out a compromise; here are some general guidelines which may help you when you face a situation like this.

• Remember that you are not changing your lover, you are seeking a change in your relationship. You have probably no right to expect a person to change their ways just to suit you, nor should you expect to be able to change them (a frequent mistake made by women)! If you tell a person what’s wrong with them, and why they should change, you are not in any way likely to alter their behavior, thoughts, feelings and attitudes (except possibly to make them more hostile towards you)! You may well cause a lot of resentment. People don’t like being told to change. And it’s not the way the human mind works, either – a much better approach is to set out a plan to contribute to change in the relationship, so that the process becomes a common goal.

• If you agree with your partner that certain things need to be changed, then that is the place to start. As you work on the common ground, the other areas of your relationship where you can seek change will emerge naturally and in their own time.

• Set out a clear plan for change in your relationship – be sure that you have specific objectives, and you know how to express them clearly. If you wanted your partner to be more considerate of your need for foreplay, for example, you might say: “I want you to cuddle for thirty minutes before we start touching each other sexually” rather than “I need more foreplay!”

• Rather than try and change a large aspect of the situation, you could start by working on small chunks of the problem. Small changes build up over time into large changes, and they may be more acceptable and less threatening to your partner.

• Make sure that the lines of communication and understanding remain open. Discuss what works for you and what doesn’t work for you with your partner, and express your feelings, including any discouragement as well as optimism. It’s also helpful to express in a clean, direct, honest way what you feel about yourself and your partner, though this should be done without blame or resentment.

• Be sure to find the right way to express your appreciation for your partner and what they are doing to co-operate on the work you are doing together. It may be a word, a gesture, an act; but if you know each other well and take the time to reflect on what is significant to your partner, it won’t be hard to find a way of expressing your gratitude.

• And of course don’t forget that we often miss the things we are doing which are causing disharmony and disruption. You do have some responsibility to modify your own thoughts, feelings, actions and behavior in this situation, and the way to do this is to agree with your partner what they see as needing input from you. You can discuss with them what objectives you should be striving for.

• Suppose that you don’t always agree on what needs to change? Do you see your partner as blocking your progress in some way? Can you discuss this with them? If not, can you go to couples therapy together to get the issue dealt with rapidly and effectively?

 

A lot of people have looked for an explanation of the orgasm “gap”. The orgasm gap means the vast difference in orgasm between men and women.

It turns out that women have about one orgasm to every three which a man has. This “orgasm gap” has been the subject of debate – and rancour – since feminists identified it in the early days of sexual feminist revolution.

There’s an assumption that this orgasm gap means women are somehow less able to reach orgasm than men.

As far back as Sigmund Freud, people (men mostly) have implied women should somehow automatically achieve orgasm during intercourse. If they didn’t there was something amiss with either their sexuality or their ability to reach orgasm.

But we now know that this is simply untrue. As few as 15-20% of women routinely reach orgasm during intercourse. Yet many women still assume there’s something wrong with them because they have fewer orgasms than men, or because they can’t reach orgasm during intercourse.

Video – Female Orgasm

However, the interesting thing is that there’s nothing normal or natural about the orgasm gap.

Women who have sex with women have many more orgasms than heterosexual women. Women who have a lot of orgasms through masturbation say they have fewer orgasms when they are with a partner.

And, believe it or not, women can reach orgasm during masturbation just as efficiently as men can.

So what on earth is going on here?

Unfortunately, social factors have a major role to play in our expectations about female sexuality. We all seem to believe to some degree that men are highly sexed and sexual. We also seem to believe women are “sexy”. In other words, women are seen as a sex object for a man’s pleasure than a sexual being in themselves.

This feeds into another problem in our society. Sex tends to focus on men’s wants, sensations and satisfaction rather than women’s.

And so a man’s orgasm, but not necessarily a woman’s, is seen as an absolutely vital part of good sex between a man and woman. Her orgasm is much less important.

Against this background, it’s not hard to imagine that a woman might feel sexually disempowered. Somehow a woman may come to believe that her primary sexual function is to be available for a man’s pleasure. Now this is undoubtedly a corruption of the natural evolution of male and female sexuality.  Although women are – or should be – more naturally able to embody the energy of the Lover – an archetype which people think is all about love and sex, but which essentially is about human connection, they still retain the power of their Warrior.  Men are (or should be) more naturally able to embody the energy of the Warrior archetype than women are, which one could see as more about holding a motivation to protect women and the family. (As previously suggested, women may be more naturally inclined towards the energy of the Lover.) But when society starts interfering in these natural impulses, the balance of archetypal energy in each sex gets disturbed. The consequence can be disharmony in society, and a lack of emotional balance in the individual.

When a woman is in this position, even unconsciously, she is likely to “separate” from herself and become a spectator during sex. She’ll be working out how she looks (and if she is good enough) from her partner’s viewpoint. This decreases the likelihood she is going to reach orgasm.

Even the slightest worry about her appearance and attractiveness will probably affect her ability to reach orgasm.

You could say that a woman faces many problems about the full expression of her sexuality – and you’d be right.

Here’s some more research which provides another take on this. When college students hook up in a casual encounter, men have three times as many orgasms as women. This is in line with the statistics on orgasm which we know apply to society as a whole.

When a couple hook up a second time, the ratio goes down to 2.5 to 1.

And when the same couple have hooked up four times or more the ratio goes down to 1.25 to 1.

So the implication is that women in relationships have as many orgasms as men. Interestingly enough, things change again when you include any kind of sexual activity in the comparison. (This means oral sex, intercourse or masturbation.) Now, there is almost no difference between the frequency of orgasm in men and women.

So whether a woman reaches orgasm is highly related to the kind of relationship she is in with a partner. A man’s “investment” in her satisfaction and orgasmic pleasure seems to be important. In other words, men seem to be expected or required to enable, if not be responsible for, women’s orgasms.  Do men really enable women’s orgasms?

When men are interviewed, it turns out, perhaps unsurprisingly, that in a casual hook-up most men don’t care about giving the woman orgasm at all.

Only in a relationship, with a regular girlfriend or partner, do men feel obligated to ensure that the woman has an orgasm.

Interestingly, women who are dating but not in a relationship feel they don’t have any right to ask for an orgasm when they hook up with a man.

That resistance might be born out of nervousness, insecurity, or a cultural lack of entitlement. But in a stark contrast, women do prioritize men’s pleasure. Even in a hook up, women are motivated to ensure that the man has an orgasm.

Sure, a woman in relationship is more empowered and most likely does feel entitled to an orgasm. She may also think it’s her partner’s responsibility to give her pleasure.

So what conclusions can we draw from this research and speculation?

First, it’s high time we all stopped buying into the idea that women are simply “bad at orgasms”. Interestingly enough, both men and women appear to be “buying into” these ideas. Truth is, there are many social, sexual and cultural forces working to deprive women of orgasms.

One final thought, however. A woman has just as much responsibility to ensure she gets sexual pleasure as a man.

Does The Coital Alignment Technique Help Have Women Orgasms?

One of the claims made for the coital alignment technique is remarkable. Apparently, it leads to orgasm during sex for almost all women to try it. The question is, of course, can this possibly be true?

One place we can go to get a dispassionate view of whether or not this modified missionary position works are internet forums.

They can help us decide if the Coital Alignment Technique is indeed a useful technique for women to experience orgasm during intercourse.

On the sexinfo101.com forum, for example, a poster opens by saying “How many of you have tried the coital alignment technique? Do you enjoy it?”

He or she (it’s not certain which gender the poster is) goes on to say “I’ve found it to be an amazing sexual position and it’s given both me and my partner great deal of pleasure.”

And the responses come pouring in: first of all, perhaps unsurprisingly, is a question about how to do it. This includes the very fair point that if people could see what’s going on during the CAT, it might make more sense.

Information like this is rather scarce, but responses from punters are not. So, for example, one woman says that the coital alignment technique is the only way she’s actually ever reached orgasm during intercourse.

Interestingly enough, she describes feeling an emotional closeness not experienced in any other sexual position.

She’s been very fortunate, I think, because she also says her male lovers have also enjoyed the coital alignment technique very much. They must have had a remarkable ability to control their ejaculations! She says they always wait for their orgasm until she has had hers, then they “do what it takes” to bring themselves to orgasm.

Interestingly enough, she also confirms that simultaneous orgasm is common when she’s been using coital alignment.

Most important, she says she’s never had a vaginal orgasm through thrusting into her vagina in the normal way. She claims that coital alignment stimulates her clitoris, and is the only position which has given her orgasms during intercourse.

Another poster offers advice on how to notch up the enjoyment. He suggests having the woman close her legs and have the man place his outside her thighs. This facilitates the rubbing of the lower end of the erect penile shaft, where it joins the body, over the clitoral area.

In the goodinbed.com forums the coital alignment technique comes up again, recommended by Madeleine Castellanos, MD. She says, very pertinently, that if you know exactly what kind of stimulation is going to help you to get to orgasm, of course you can incorporate into intercourse.

That includes simple things like self stimulation while the male partner’s enjoying penetration. Another option is having the male partner stimulate the woman’s clitoris with hand or fingers.

Now that’s all very well, but as Madeleine observes, if you’re making love in the woman on top position, the woman can alter her body angle and rub her clitoris against her partner’s pubic bone. So why use the coital alignment technique?

Woman on top allows women to control the pace and depth of intercourse. It gives them the opportunity to reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, too. It’s been around for as long as men and women have made love in this position!

But she also refers to the coital alignment technique as a variation of the missionary position.  As we know, the man slides his body forward (that is to say higher up the woman’s body) so that the shaft of his erect penis rubs against the area of her clitoris. At that point the man adopts the rhythmic movement needed to stimulate his partner’s clitoris and eventually bring her to orgasm.

The interesting thing about this forum is that women are reassuring each other that not reaching orgasm during intercourse is perfectly normal.

A very small minority of women can reach orgasm during intercourse, although the coital alignment technique increases the probability of orgasm during lovemaking dramatically.

As you may know, sex in the man on top or missionary position is a wonderful experience. The physical and emotional intimacy is indeed unsurpassed in any other position. However, most women find that they can’t orgasm during man on top sex. (Or, indeed, in any intercourse position.)

And, despite, or perhaps because of this, couples tend to stick with a routine of foreplay, penetration, and male orgasm. But male orgasm usually signals the end of sex for a couple. And this, as you can imagine, is not terribly satisfying for most women.

The reason why the woman doesn’t climax, of course,  is that man on top sex doesn’t actually stimulate her clitoris. And the clitoris is precisely where most women need stimulation before they can reach orgasm.

Experts now say that few if any women reach orgasm in the man on top position during intercourse. And yes, the position feels lovely, even without female orgasm, but it could be so much better. What about multiple orgasms or simultaneous orgasm, for a start?

Well, let’s get one thing straight. Lack of female orgasm is no reflection on the relationship, or indeed on the level of love between the two partners. It’s a reflection on human anatomy.  Women can’t reach orgasm during man on top sex because of the human genital anatomy.

So can women enjoy orgasm during sex?

Some experts advise resorting to a vibrator, oral sex, or some other way of bringing the woman off. And they say it’s best to do that before the man enters her.

That’s missing the point! It’s not what women say they want.

What women want is an orgasm during intercourse! And because the man on top position allows full body connection and emotional intimacy, women like it. They also want to achieve climax in this intimate sexual position.

Advice from experts to use positions like woman on top, where the woman can rub her clitoris against the man’s body is advice which misses the point completely.

Many women want missionary style intercourse with orgasms!

Most men want to make love in the missionary position as well – simply because it feels great! However many men come quickly in this position.

So. How do we make sex last longer, and give women a chance to reach orgasm?

Answer: The Coital Alignment Technique!

Abbreviated to the letters CAT, the coital alignment technique was introduced in 1988 by sex researcher Edward Eichel. He set out to find a way in which women could have orgasms during intercourse – specifically, missionary position sex.

How To Do The CAT

To start with, the man does NOT lie on top of his partner chest to chest. Nor does he thrust in and out of her, with his penis more or less horizontal.

Instead, he moves up her body – that’s to say he moves up her body horizontally, so that his chest is closer to one of her shoulders.

As a result his penis is forced downwards (or more accurately backwards), at least as you it when look at the man is lying on top of his partner.

When his penis is inside her in this sexual position, the base of his shaft and his pubic area make much more contact with the woman’s clitoral area.

This provides direct clitoral stimulation which may enable her to reach orgasm.

At the time the coital alignment technique was announced it seemed like a massive hit. There was even a book written about it called The Perfect Fit. But  over the last 20 years, it’s become more and more ignored – why?

Mostly, I think, because the instructions aren’t always very simply presented.

But research has continued over the years, and we now know the coital alignment technique really does help women have orgasms during missionary or man on top intercourse.

Learning the CAT may not be the easiest thing in the world. However if you get it right, you soon realize it feels intimate, enjoyably different, and it leads to orgasms for both partners.

Surely that has to be worth it?

So, if you’re a couple who in any way expect to improve the quality of your sex lives, this is the most obvious and simple way to do just that!

How The Coital Alignment Technique Works

When you look back at what Edward Eichel said about it, it was really very simple. He took the most commonly used and most popular sex position – the man on top – and shifted the man’s position a bit. He also added more co-ordinated movement, relaxation, and a slower pace and rhythm of sex.

This new way of making love offered women orgasms during intercourse. He called it the coital alignment technique.

And apparently women really do have more orgasms during intercourse when couples use the coital alignment technique. (CAT for short.) In fact, Redbook magazine wrote gushingly about the CAT that it “is the greatest thing that has improved sex since the invention of the bed”.

And Eichel himself observed even women in their fifties who had never climaxed (ever!) could reach orgasm when they used the CAT. This shows that the CAT does have the power to improve people’s sex lives.

Eichel has come in for some criticism, but then everybody who comes upsets the status quo gets criticised.

One sex therapist said “this is a new gimmick, and sex is not that simple.” I won’t mention the name of the sex and marriage therapist in question! Really, the point is this – lots of women and men say that the coital alignment technique works. And a few die-hard therapists say nothing in life is as simple as this!

The problem, I think, lies in the fact that the coital alignment technique is not simple to learn.

When it first “came out” there was massive interest in it, which is not surprising, because this was back in 1992 or thereabouts. People were just getting to terms with the fact that sex was normal, enjoyable, and everyone did it!.

Indeed, this was probably the ideal time to introduce a new sex technique which was all about female pleasure! No wonder it garnered massive interest.

But unfortunately the coital alignment technique rapidly became – well, if not ignored exactly, at least it faded into obscurity. Why? Because it takes effort.

Also, in some men’s minds, sex becomes goal oriented (she must have an orgasm!). But then, women who don’t come, even with the help of the coital alignment technique, can start to feel like “failures”. They aren’t achieving something that they “ought to be able to do”!

Orgasm Can Be A Goal During Sex

Maybe we need to regard intercourse as something that’s and enjoyable shared experience, even if the woman (or man) doesn’t orgasm.

To say that people have to make love in a specific way to achieve orgasm is questionable. It’s notable that Beverly Whipple, one of the discoverers of the G spot, was careful to avoid setting up the objective of reaching orgasm through G spot stimulation as another goal for women to achieve during intercourse.

She recognized there was enough pressure on women to conform to certain sexual ideals already. She did not want to impose more expectations on women.

And yet, and yet, there is something rather magnificent about the idea of female orgasm during intercourse. Even better when it’s achieved by simply changing the man’s position and how the couple move during lovemaking.

This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with somebody who is NOT having orgasm during intercourse.

Furthermore, we all need to be open to anything that can improve the enjoyment of both partners during sex. Perhaps we’ve lost sight of the fact that anything we do can be made better simply with refinement and practice – sex included!

It’s also true that some of Eichel’s attitudes look a little bit, well, old-fashioned, shall we say. He believes that men and women should remain monogamous and stay faithful to each other, and that they should use the coital alignment technique to achieve simultaneous orgasm.

Does The CAT Work?

Research has been mixed, and really quite informal – so it’s not very clear what the success rate of the CAT depends on.

But I think I can tell you: it depends on how well somebody learns it, which in turn depends on how well they’re taught it. For example, Karen Brasch, a woman who conducts sexual enrichment workshops for women and couples, asked six of her couples to try it, and all of the six women had orgasms during CAT sex.

I suspect another problem is that many men have premature ejaculation; meaning, they can’t delay ejaculation for more than 2 to 3 minutes. You see, even with the coital alignment technique at least 10 and possibly 20 minutes of rhythmic movement may be needed for a woman to reach orgasm.

So maybe the problem isn’t the CAT, maybe the problem is men’s ability to control ejaculation.

When you look at couples where the man has good ejaculatory control, there is plenty of evidence that the coital alignment technique works. (My own research sows it is very good for men who want to overcome delayed ejaculation or who have difficulty reaching orgasm during intercourse.)

Also, most complaints about the CAT seem to be from men who want the kind of wild abandoned thrusting which men enjoy. This kind of thrusting is not part of the coital alignment technique.

Some of us would say that the pleasure of simultaneous orgasm more than makes up for the loss of hard thrusting!

Well, “coital alignment” is just a fancy name for a way of making love which is designed to give the woman an orgasm during intercourse. (Most men will naturally come during lovemaking, of course. Women much less so.)

It’s derived from the standard missionary position, or more accurately from the “riding high” variation of the missionary position.

Conventional Missionary Position Sex

Moving Into Riding High Variation

Riding High Variation Of Missionary

Riding high means that during sexual intercourse the man shifts his body upwards on his partner (he is effectively shifting his head upwards towards or past hers).

The purpose is to bring his pelvis into alignment with hers, and because he does this after he’s inserted his penis into her vagina, his penis is going to be pushed downwards into a more vertical orientation than normal.

When the couple are in this position Edward Eichel discovered that if the man and woman rock together rather than having the man thrust in and out of her vagina in the traditional forward and backward movement, her clitoris gets stimulation from the area around the base of his penis and his pubic bone.

Indeed, there can be enough stimulation for the woman to be able to reach orgasm.

There is another significant advantage the modification to the missionary position which I’ve just described, which, as I say, is called the coital alignment technique:  it prevents the man from reaching orgasm too quickly (except in the most extreme cases of premature ejaculation).

Sex researcher Edward Eichel developed this way of making love. He believed one of the reasons that men came too quickly for their partner’s pleasure was because they succumbed – particularly in the man on top position – to the urge to thrust in and out of the woman’s vagina very vigorously, with an ever-increasing pace, as he instinctively responded to the increasingly urgent desire to ejaculate inside his partner.

But by adapting intercourse in the way that I’ve just described, this rush to orgasm can be avoided.

In other words, a man can control his instinctual desire to ejaculate as fast as possible, and become more controlled and slow in his movements – which is going to make him last longer during intercourse.

Now it has to be said, in all fairness, that this is not a complete cure for premature ejaculation, because there are other issues that play into this dysfunction, such as fear of women and anxiety and anger.

But for a man who isn’t in the grip of emotional issues like those,  the coital alignment technique can offer a great way of extending intercourse, prolonging the buildup to orgasm, and providing his female partner with satisfaction and pleasure: she is almost certain to achieve orgasm during intercourse.

You might wonder why, with such a radical improvement on the conventional man on top position, the coital alignment technique hasn’t swept the medals in the sex positions popularity stakes!

I think the first reason is probably that not many people know about it.

Even though it’s been around since the 1980s, the coital alignment technique has not received much publicity in mainstream erotica or, indeed, in online sexual information for men and women.

Of course erotica isn’t a sex education medium, really, so you’re not going to pan the camera up to the genitals of a couple to demonstrate how they are making love using coital alignment. That’s not the point of erotica, which is to get people off as quickly as possible.

But there is nevertheless a serious point here – which is that without a movie demonstration of “how to do” the coital alignment technique, most people will struggle to understand it.

You may have seen all those accounts of the man moving up the woman’s body so his penis is oriented vertically (or at least more vertically), followed by pelvic rocking with the man leading the woman and the woman leading the man alternately.

Yes, it’s all a bit confusing. So here’s the fundamental question for you: are you willing to explore the possibility of satisfaction during intercourse using the coital alignment technique?

I assume you care about the woman enjoying orgasm during intercourse? Or have you found some compromise in your love life?

A compromise like this: many couples have reached a compromise whereby the man will bring his woman to orgasm before he enters her, after which he’ll take his own pleasure by thrusting in her until he reaches orgasm.

However, it has to be said this doesn’t produce the ultimate in satisfaction for either man or woman.

To start with sex is much more rewarding when it’s a mutually satisfying process – and that might mean either cooperating in the process of intercourse (which generates much greater intimacy) or it could mean actually ensuring that both the woman and the man enjoy a long slow build-up to orgasm (thereby ensuring their orgasms are mush more powerful) and in particular it could mean ensuring the woman reaches orgasm during intercourse!

Over many years of work with men and women, one thing I have come to understand is that even though very few women currently reach orgasm during intercourse, there are a lot of women who would love to be able to do so, because to them this is the ultimate expression of bonding and intimacy with their partner.

You do have an option available which is simpler than the coital alignment technique if you want to use it: simply use a vibrator on the woman’s clitoris during intercourse.

The obvious disadvantage is that this restricts the number of positions you can use – they will only work if her clitoris is easily accessible.

Furthermore, it’s a distraction during lovemaking – you may not actually want to have to focus on placing vibrator on the woman’s clitoris.

Not only that, but a significant proportion of women don’t really enjoy vibrators anyway, at least not as a means of sexual stimulation during lovemaking.

So the best way to reach orgasm during intercourse is to use a technique which allows you to simply enjoy a form of penis-in-the-vagina lovemaking without the need of additional clitoral stimulation from your hands, fingers, or tongue.

Orgasm during intercourse was the original purpose of the coital alignment technique, and in another post we are going to have a look at how this can be achieved.

It really isn’t complicated, and it’s certainly worth investigating if you’re at all interested in simultaneous orgasm during lovemaking because the CAT appears to be the easiest way to achieve that wonderful experience.

When Edward Eichel came up with the coital alignment technique, he wrote a book about it with Philip Nobile. It was called The Perfect Fit: How to Achieve Mutual Fulfilment and Monogamous Passion Through The New Intercourse.

In that book, Nobile said the coital alignment technique was the first “original” sex position created for many centuries.

Who, then, was Edward Eichel, the man who came up with this remarkable development in lovemaking?

He was a Manhattan psychotherapist who ran encounter groups in the late 60s in Greenwich Village. He also taught couples to make love in a new way, a way that derived from the principles of Wilhelm Reich.

Reich was a body therapist and “wild sex genius”, a man who was interested in creating more powerful orgasms.

The History of Coital Alignment

Eichel took Wilhelm Reich’s formula for more powerful orgasms and added a specific sexual position – the riding high, or override position.

In this position the man is on top, but he shifts upwards along the woman’s body so that the base of his penis is pressing against her clitoris.

And then, using this “riding high position” as the basis of the Coital Alignment Technique or CAT, Eichel put another spin on his technique. He changed the traditional male thrusting movement into a slight rocking and rolling motion.

That two consequences. It made the override or riding high position more comfortable for the woman, and it produced strong emotions and orgasms among Eichel’s clients.

And in fact, the frequency of simultaneous orgasm rose to 50% among women who previously had barely been orgasmic during intercourse.

Not only that, but the Coital Alignment Technique also increased couples’ desire to have intercourse, and improved the intensity of their orgasms.

At the time this seemed revolutionary. Indeed, Eichel told a newspaper in 1989 that this new position “changed the whole concept of sex”.

Essentially Eichel saw the coital alignment technique as a way of not only improving orgasms, but also the very relationship between a man and a woman.

And indeed, he was right! In recent years, there’s been a lot of research which has proved that the more orgasms a couple have, the more motivated they are to have sex, and the better the quality of the relationship outside the bedroom.

But Eichel’s new sexual technique was not received warmly by sex therapists.

You will, of course, see whether the coital alignment technique is of any value to you within your relationship when you try it for yourselves….

Coital Alignment

Let’s start from an idea which is obvious to everyone. The female orgasm is something, as Nobile so amusingly remarked, about which “nature has been quite nonchalant”.

In other words, because female orgasm isn’t necessary for the reproduction of the species, it has never been a biological trait favoured by evolution. It is, in short, a byproduct of being human.

Pioneering sexologist Alfred Kinsey had something to say about the female orgasm in 1953. He searched in vain for the vaginal orgasm, and, like Masters and Johnson, concluded that all orgasms in women result from stimulation of the clitoris.

Popularising The CAT Was Not Easy

Edward Eichel said that the CAT’s combination of a particular sex position and a very coordinated form of movement produced complete genital contact and made female orgasm during lovemaking easy.

The clitoris was, as he described, “caught in the attraction between the female pubic bone and the male pubic bone,… Both have to supply exactly equal motion… And it has to be coordinated consciously and intentionally.… I thought that was the only factor creating a synchrony… The rotation between the male and female pubic mons produces a deep pressure….. One thing that I must mention is that the male does not hold his weight on his elbows. The whole positioning matter is that his weight must be evenly distributed. It must be higher up. And any tensions in the shoulders – let’s say from the upper back region – would probably cut off motility to the genitals. That would be felt as a cut-off of sensation.”

More recently Eichel has acknowledged the importance of G spot stimulation. Stimulating what we call the G spot produces stimulation of the woman’s urethra. We know this helps women to reach orgasm.

And, sure enough, in the coital alignment technique, a woman’s urethra receives deep and steady pressure which can help in achieving orgasm.

Masters and Johnson wrongly believed clitoral contact was impossible during sex.

But as Eichel pointed out, that’s because the man tends to speed up thrusting during intercourse. Not only does this move the penis further away from the clitoris, but it also means the positioning and angle of his penis in the woman’s vagina can be uncomfortable or even painful.

Furthermore, Masters and Johnson used a hard plastic dildo in their investigations. This unrealistic tool doesn’t mirror the way in which the male penis can flex to stimulate various areas of the vagina including the G spot.

Eichel produced a film of the movements involved in the coital alignment technique and explained the theory behind his technique. Sadly, there was no widespread acceptance of this revolutionary sex position and technique.

The real point was that Eichel believed he’d actually found a way to achieve simultaneous massive orgasm for both the man and woman using a new way of making love.

However,  many couples who responded to Eichel’s request for information said his technique had produced very significant improvements in their sexual pleasure.

What it amounts to is that CAT was not an overnight sensation: it took many years for it to become well-known. And in many ways Eichel worked hard to overcome the resistance of the sex therapy community.

CAT – A Summary

Coital Alignment Technique

So the coital alignment technique is a way of producing orgasm during intercourse which is independent of any need for a penis to be a certain size, or for a vagina to have a certain level of sensitivity.

The coital alignment technique requires the man to move in a certain rhythmic way together with his partner who responds to his movements, or vice versa.

The ultimate objective of the coital alignment technique is for the man’s pubic area and the base of his penile shaft to stimulate the region of the woman’s clitoris in a rhythmic way during intercourse. Then, the woman’s level of sexual tension gradually increases and releases in orgasm at the moment of climax.

Simultaneous orgasm has been touted as one of the benefits of the coital alignment technique. And it certainly seems to be easier to achieve it using this technique. There’s some kind of synergy or feedback or mutual arousal mechanism going on – it can seem almost magical – which allows the couple to reach the point of orgasm at the same time.

For couples who are really keen on experiencing female orgasm during intercourse, the options are rather limited.

You could use a vibrator to stimulate the woman’s clitoris during lovemaking, which can be awkward and somewhat clumsy, or you can learn the coital alignment technique.

Now, one of the problems with coital alignment technique is that is actually quite difficult to learn. So it’s worthwhile getting tuition from a decent website, book or even the original paper written by Eichel himself.

Orgasms For Women During Lovemaking

In other words, the two pelvises are on top of each other – which is where the phrase “coital alignment technique” comes from.

You won’t have forgotten, I guess, that his legs are lying close together and that they’re outstretched behind him, nor that his partner is going to rest her ankles on his calves.

The man shifts up his partner’s body to ensure his penis enters her in a more vertical orientation.

(Or she can simply leave them lying straight, on the bed, just outside his legs.) And the usual instruction at this point is that when the couple are in this position, his head is just to one side of her face.

Here’s a great video which explains the CAT.

I guess you might be struck by the obvious fact that if the couple are very different in height that actually won’t be possible. So remember: align the pelvises. (The “alignment” in this technique means aligning your pelvis with your partner’s.)

It may also have occurred to you that while the head of the man’s penis will still be in her vagina, it’s possible that some of the penile shaft will be outside of her vagina, and that shaft may even be pressing on the top part of her vulva. True. And so, if it sounds a bit confusing, the final instruction in Step 2 is to stay relaxed and don’t worry about getting it wrong. Practice makes perfect.

Step 3 in the Coital Alignment Technique

OK, so the man is pushing up along her body. At the same time the woman is going to tilt her pelvis away from him, which is to say down into the bed, so that his penis is going to come almost all the way out. If it’s done correctly she should feel the base of the penis pressing against her clitoris.

But this is a small movement, and needs to be limited so that the man’s penis does not fully pop out of the vagina.

Step 4 

And now the man pushes down with his pelvis, which means that his whole body is going to shift downwards in relation to hers. His penis is going to enter her fully at the same time as she tilts her hips upwards. This will have the effect of enclosing his penis in her vagina.

The man is still lying on his partner, and just to reiterate the point, with some of his weight on his forearms, but with full body contact. The couple’s legs are still as straight as possible.

This is because the coital alignment technique requires the woman to keep her upper thighs and knees rather closer together than has become expected in the missionary position.

One expert says that between step 3 and step 4 the difference in position of the man’s pelvis is only about 4 inches. That means that in step 3, the man’s pelvis is directly above the woman’s. In step 4 it’s about 4 inches lower down her body, and closer to the bed, tipped at an angle and between her legs.

Step 5

You’re going to repeat what’s really a hip rocking movement over and over again. Effectively, as the man moves up, the woman tilts her pelvis down. As the woman tilts her pelvis up, he moves down.

So what you’re trying to do is maintain constant stimulation of the area between her pubic bone and her vaginal mouth. You are using the man’s penile shaft, his pubic bone and the weight of his body to stimulate that area on the woman.

Apparently, when you do it right, and you’ve got the rhythm going, the sensations you get with coital alignment are so completely different to normal intercourse that you move into a wonderful world of erotic sensation.

And, if you want yet more variation, it is possible to enjoy the technique with the woman on top; if you fancy trying that, here’s a link.

Difficulties You May Experience

A lot of people find the CAT difficult to understand and even more difficult to do.

That led to the development of the modified coital alignment technique, which offers a simpler way of  giving the woman the stimulation she needs on her clitoris to make her come during intercourse.

As before, the man penetrates the woman as he would if they were making love in the traditional man on top or missionary position.

But this, remember, is about a different way of making love, so things do not proceed as normal.

This time the man shifts his position up the woman’s body and then she moves her legs together between the man’s legs.

This has the effect of tightening the vagina around the man’s erection, and in this way providing very strong sensations to the penis.

(The problem here being that the man may feel a desire to ejaculate very quickly. Hint: if so, then Lloyd Lester’s  excellent program Ejaculation By Command can help. Check it out here.)

Now, it’s possible, with a bit of ingenuity, to have more-or-less normal thrusting movements, with the shaft of the penis stimulating the clitoris and providing the contact needed for orgasm.

Again, it is important that the man moves his weight forward keeps a rhythm going  so that his partner is getting what she needs. This slowly builds stimulation, leading to what can be a very powerful orgasm.

Modified Alignment Technique

In the modified version of coital alignment, the thrusting motion more closely resembles that of normal intercourse.

You’ll recall, perhaps, that the normal CAT technique requires the man not to thrust as normal, but to move up and down from the hips.

As may be clear, when you employ the modified coital alignment technique, there is no such restriction. This feels more natural to most men.

Whether or not you can use the alignment technique to take a woman to orgasm depends on finding the “groove”, the right rhythm, the soothing movement of two bodies loving in synchrony.

But in either case, you can achieve female orgasm during intercourse.

Female Orgasm With G spot Stimulation. 

There’s a very simple technique which lets you give all women as many powerful and satisfying orgasms as they want – easily and quickly!

The simple techniques are shown on the free video available below. Make no mistake – this is revolutionary – using these tricks you will be able to give any woman a massive orgasm whenever you want. And you can do it easily and quickly.

Click here NOW to see this AMAZINGLY SIMPLE way of ensuring a woman has a MASSIVE orgasm!

This makes it much easier for everyone. There’ll be no more struggling to make her come and intercourse will be a real pleasure. This technique can, in fact, lead to many powerful orgasms for her – and fantastic sex for you!

The most obvious improvement to sexual intercourse for most couples would be to find a way of helping the woman reach orgasm during intercourse.  And another obvious improvement would be for a couple to achieve simultaneous orgasm during lovemaking.

Well, all this is possible – courtesy of the coital alignment technique or CAT, developed by Edward Eichel.

The coital alignment technique is a different way of making love specifically designed to allow women to achieve orgasm during intercourse.

The CAT depends on a  couple using a variation of man on top sexual intercourse known as the “riding high” position. This changes the angle of the penis in the vagina. Also the way the man and woman thrust is different to conventional intercourse.

Instead of thrusting in and out, the man and woman enjoy a kind of pelvic centered rocking, which produces pressure and counter-pressure between the partners.

This pressure stimulates the man’s penis and the woman’s clitoris, gradually building up their sexual energy until they reach a powerful orgasm.

Although this sounds complicated, when a couple discover how to do it, the coital alignment technique has a massive effect on the satisfaction and pleasure of women during intercourse.

To be precise, women who use the coital alignment technique during lovemaking have many more orgasms during intercourse than women who do not use it.

How The Coital Alignment Technique Works

The position works because it provides stimulation to the woman’s clitoris during intercourse.

There’s a clear shift in position as you can see in the video. And you might wonder if the man’s penis will slip out of his partner.

But the couple should have no more difficulty in preventing the man’s penis slipping out of her vagina than they would during “conventional” intercourse.

Another benefit is that the woman experiences less discomfort around the vaginal opening or internally.

In fact there should be no discomfort at all. If there is, it is most likely caused by the man breaking the co-operative rhythm of movement as he approaches climax. It’s a man’s hard and fast thrusting which can cause a woman discomfort and prevent her moving towards her own climax.

A man may do this as his instinctive desire to thrust harder and faster takes over. Such thrusting may produce discomfort around the rectum and vagina in a significant number of women.

But the CAT is – or at least should be – different.

Using the correctly coordinated pace and pattern of sexual movement prevents discomfort for the woman. And it also gradually builds up her sexual energy until she reaches orgasm.

This applies through the entire duration of intercourse from start, through the buildup, to the eventual release of orgasm.

For the women, clitoral stimulation is produced by rhythmic stimulation of the area of her clitoris by the closeness and pressure of the man’s pubic bone and penile shaft.

The woman’s clitoris receives enough gradual stimulation for her to reach orgasm.

Interestingly enough, most of the couples who learn how to enjoy the coital alignment technique report significantly greater pleasure in orgasm.

They experience it as beginning in the penis or clitoris (in the man and woman respectively) and then radiating out through the entire pelvis, body and limbs. This kind of orgasm is often described as “complete and satisfying”.

Simultaneous orgasm, too!

There’s also a connection between the coital alignment technique and simultaneous orgasm.

We’ve become accustomed to the idea that simultaneous orgasm, desirable though it may be, is something rare and hard to achieve.

However the coital alignment technique offers the very real possibility of simultaneous orgasm as a realistic climax to intercourse.

The buildup of orgasmic energy, which continually increases during unbroken coital movements using this technique, appears to somehow synchronize the sexual responses of the man and woman. This may be because the partners have a mutually supportive and equally active role during intercourse.

Research recently done on the CAT has revealed there are subtle benefits that are not immediately obvious.

For one thing, it requires the cooperation of both partners, which means it not only produces greater sexual satisfaction, but also acts as a powerful way to reinforce intimacy and connection between the man and the woman.

How To Do The CAT

To start with, the man enters his partner as he normally would for man on top sexual intercourse. But he then assumes what’s known as the riding high position.

In other words, he shifts his body up along his partner’s, so that his pelvis is directly over the woman’s, the shaft of his penis pressing up against her pubic mound.

Interestingly, at this stage the man rests the full weight of his body on his partner, rather than propping his torso up on his elbows as most men would do when making love in the missionary position. (If he is too heavy for her to bear, he may take some weight on his arms.)

The woman’s legs are wrapped around the man’s thighs, with her ankles resting on his calves. And her thighs are bent at an angle which doesn’t exceed 45 degrees.

This is because the woman’s pelvis becomes difficult to move if she raises her knees at an angle greater than that.

There are some more simple principles governing the movement of the two partners during intercourse using the coital alignment technique.

A couple needs good pelvic mobility, achieved without using leverage from pushing or bracing in any way with the arms or legs. In other words, physical movement is basically located in the pelvis and the nearby spine.

The upper torso of both partners remains stationary, because movement in this part of the body takes energy away from the genital focus that is essential for achieving the satisfying orgasm expected during use of coital alignment.

And the movement of the man and woman has to be co-ordinated. In fact the pattern and pace of movement needs to be identical for the man and woman.

Eichel explained this in his original paper in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.

What Happens Next?

The woman leads in the upward stroke, forcing the pelvis of the man backward. He allows his pelvis to move backward while providing some degree of counter pressure against the woman’s clitoris.

As the woman’s pelvis moves forward and upward, her vagina engulfs the man’s erect penis more deeply.

In the downward stroke of sexual movement, the process is reversed. The man’s movement forces his partner’s pelvis backward, and the woman provides a resistant counter pressure, in which she presses her clitoris against the external base of the man’s penis.

Using this motion, as the woman’s pelvis moves backwards and downwards, the penile shaft rocks forward against the female Mons, sliding to a shallow position in the vagina.

The partner who is initiating the forward thrust pelvic movement, and the partner following the backward movement exert pressure and counter-pressure simultaneously in approximately a 60:40 ratio respectively.

And the movements are in fact only small movements – as Eichel described it, the two partners extended movement only for the distance prescribed by the natural pattern of motion established by the interplay of male and female genitals and pubic areas.

As Eichel pointed out, this is a contrast to the normal pattern of coital thrusting, which involves the man and woman moving independently of each other, and intermittently arching their spines and bending at the waist.

The significance of the alignment method is that with correct positioning and coordinated movement, the male penis shaft will pressing up against what you might describe as the “12 o’clock” position around the vaginal opening.

Then, the man’s erect penis is under pressure to bend backwards in the vagina towards the female rectum. If you can imagine the angle of the man’s penis as being near but not quite vertical, because of the angle of the couple’s bodies, you can see that the base of the front side of his erect shaft will be positioned near the woman’s clitoris.

The movements which the couple make during intercourse continue to hold the man’s penis in contact with the woman’s clitoris because of the nature of the pelvic rocking motion already described.

It’s almost as if the penile shaft is vibrating on the clitoral body, and this can produce a much more satisfying orgasm for the woman.

However, both the man and the woman must engage with equal energy in the movements needed for coitally aligned intercourse.

And the man must not give way to his urge to thrust harder and faster as he approaches climax. Indeed, both partners have to keep a steady pace of movement throughout the whole period of intercourse. That’s true even when the approach of climax is signalled by the pre-orgasmic sensations spreading through the body.

In fact, Eichel suggested that if the man and the woman have aligned their bodies correctly, then transition to an voluntary movement at the time of orgasm will occur naturally without any disruption to the pattern of movement.

Alignment Is More than A Sex Position

One of the important aspects of the coital alignment technique is that it’s not simply a new sex position or technique. It’s a way of enjoying orgasm more fully.

Yet much of the success you achieve using it (measured by orgasmic pleasure for both partners) is about the way in which you move while you’re making love.

By regarding the CAT as just a  sex position, you risk staying locked in a mindset which is that somehow intercourse is about the man having an orgasm, but not the woman, because she is unable to do so for some reason.

So, to recap, the coital alignment technique is all about movement of the penis and vagina which is more up-and-down than “in-and-out and forwards and backwards”.

You start off in the basic missionary position with the woman lying on her back. Then the man’s going to penetrate her in the normal way for this position. After he’s entered her, he needs to adopt a very different position for the coital alignment technique to work successfully.

Importantly,  the man is going to put his arms underneath the woman’s armpits and cup her shoulders.

This will help take some of his weight off her, although he should generally maintain as much body contact and pressure as is comfortable for her.

With his penis still inside her, he moves his body upwards along her body; this means he is moving upwards towards her head until his pelvis is directly aligned over hers.

His legs are together, and lie inside hers. She will rest her ankles on his calves with her knees not elevated more than 45°, otherwise it’s going to be difficult for her to move her pelvis in the way required later to maintain coital alignment.

Generally speaking, unless the partners are very different in height, his head will be alongside hers.

As far as penetration is concerned, at this stage much of his penis shaft may now be outside her vagina, with the bottom of it pressing up against top part of her labia, vulva and hopefully clitoris.

Next, with the man pushing upwards along the woman’s body, she’s going to tip her pelvis away from him. In other words that’s down into the bed, which will make his penis come almost all the way out of her vagina. As he does, she should feel the base of his penis and his pubic area pressing against her clitoris.

This is a comparatively small movement, not like the big thrusting movements involved in normal missionary-type intercourse in the man on top position – you don’t want his penis to fully come out of her vagina.

The next step is for the man to tilt his pelvis slightly downwards, which will cause his body to move lower down hers and his penis to enter her vagina more completely.

At the same time, she’s going to rock her pelvis upwards so as to help envelop his penis.

In the original instructions, Edward Eichel said that the partner who was pressing should exert force against the partner who was being pressed against, and who would resist, in a ratio of 60:40.

This resistance maintains contact between the man’s pubic bone and penile shaft and the woman’s clitoral area.

This kind of rocking rotates both partners’ pelvises through a small angle of about 4 inches. And this movement is repeated over and over – he moves up as she moves down, and he moves down as she moves up.

It’s a rhythmic, slow and consistent movement which will maintain the same pressure between his pubic area and lower penile shaft and her clitoral area throughout lovemaking.

What people who’ve tried the coital technique – as well asscientific research  – say about the coital alignment technique is that an unusual kind of sexual energy builds up during lovemaking.

This can lead to a feeling of unification of both partners – a somewhat spiritual process! And orgasms with the CAT can be very powerful. This is why a focus on position alone can be a distraction.

You see, the coital alignment technique is about the way the partners move, the nature of the sexual energy, and the power of mutual orgasm as much as anything.

And a critical thing in achieving the correct movements is that both partners need to have good pelvic mobility.

When used correctly, the coital alignment technique does not have the two sexual partners thrusting as they would in the regular missionary position.

Rather, the more vertical angle of the penis in the vagina results in a series of small “collisions” between the man’s pelvic area and the woman’s clitoral area. As Eichel put it, the movement is subtle, co-ordinated, gentle, slow building, and must above all else maintain constant rhythm.

Bottom line: with correct movement, the Coital Alignment Technique is a position which can produce female orgasm, simultaneous orgasms, and great sex which verges on the spiritual.

Best Sex Positions For Romantic Lovemaking

Men very often like novelty to keep them interested in sex with the same partner.

That need to experience novelty can be fulfilled in many different ways, the occasional romantic weekend in a luxury hotel, making love out of doors, or even for those with a very consistent sexual routine, just putting the woman on top during a session of intercourse. And, of course, by using new and different sexual techniques, often derived from porn on the Internet,

Judging by the figures, we certainly do like to look at Internet pornography, and it is indeed a great source of ideas and inspiration for sexual techniques. Yet sadly, internet porn addiction is a big problems these days, and there seems to be evidence it is interfering with people’s sex lives – and not in a good way, causing erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation.

Fortunately, man on top sex offers plenty of new and exciting techniques that still feel comfortable and allow men to experience a sense of dominance, while the woman can feel passive or receptive during sexual intercourse.And that’s no bad thing: when men feel dominant, they probably are fulfilling some very deep biological urge to take their woman sexually, and when women feel passive or receptive, they too are probably fulfilling a very deep and ancient biological urge to be taken sexually.

Let’s face it, we all like to experience the same, safe, familiar thing during sex a lot of the time, spiced up occasionally with some new techniques. Unless, I guess, we are in the early stages of a new relationship, when novelty and excitement can really make a heck of a difference to the satisfaction that we get out of making love.

There are some practical aspects to the sexual techniques we can employ in the man on top position: there’s a lot of bodily contact, which can be very satisfying to both sexes; the man can lick and kiss the woman’s breasts, albeit with some maneuvering around; the couple are able to look at each other and easily talk to each other as they have sex; the man can watch the woman’s reaction as his penis enters her body; and the woman is able to wrap her legs around her man’s legs or back as he thrusts into her.

And let’s be honest – as we all know, these are greatly satisfying lovemaking techniques. But when the man makes love on top, he tends to ejaculate quite quickly because it puts a strain on the man’s muscles. This can cause him to build up a level of bodily tension which makes him ejaculate more quickly. Should you need help in lasting longer, then this may be the place to look for special techniques to help you last longer in bed.

Men who like to watch what’s happening as they make love can get an even bigger thrill from the man on top sex position and all its variations by simply raising themselves up on their arms so that they can see their partner’s body and look down to see the arousing and exciting vision of their hard erect cock sliding in and out of their partner’s vagina.

When the urge to thrust hard and deep takes over, as it does for many men at some point during intercourse, as passion rises and instinct takes over, this is an ideal position which that urge can be completely expressed, giving great satisfaction and pleasure to both the man and woman.

What sexual techniques can I use in this position?

The simplest technique is to vary the pace of your thrusting. For women who like hard and fast thrusting, man on top sex positions are absolutely ideal: they allow the man to thrust hard and fast!

Although it’s usually said that women don’t reach orgasm during intercourse, it is in fact possible for the man on top sex position to produce absolutely brilliant orgasms for the woman provided that the man is able to thrust for a long period of time without ejaculating prematurely (which in this case means before his partner has reached orgasm or is otherwise satisfied).

Such techniques as finding new erogenous zones allow a man to pleasure his partner for as long as may be necessary in this sexual position for her to reach orgasm.

The key to her reaching orgasm is in moving around until he finds a position in which is penis is producing tension on her clitoris. This is usually achieved by either thrusting in such a way that her labia are pulled downwards on each stroke and so stimulate her clitoral glans, or by adopting the coital alignment technique or CAT sex position.

Video: The Coital Alignment Technique

Coital alignment techniques

Another technique you can use is to adapt the sex position so that the man’s pubic bone presses down on her clitoris with each thrust. Clearly this is all about a couple knowing each other well enough to be confident enough to pause, move and experiment during sex.

Of course there are plenty of methods you can use to vary your approach in the man on top sex positions.

However, the essence of man on top variation is all about the position of the woman’s legs and pelvis.

The woman has a great ability to make sex more enjoyable for both herself and her partner. She can move her legs anywhere from lying horizontally on the bed, right up so that they are on his shoulders as he kneels in front of her and thrusts into her vulva.

So man on top positions are sexy, but do also require a couple to be flexible and able to sustain some of the slightly more tiring postures during lovemaking.

And that’s important for men who tend to come quickly. Any posture which puts strain a man’s arm and and legs will tend to make him come even more quickly than normal. Since orgasm is essentially a build up of tension and the release at the moment of climax, it’s crucial that if you experience premature ejaculation you find a sex position which does not increase the amount of tension in your body.

The best way to find out what you enjoy most during lovemaking is to actually try out the different postures and positions with the man on top.

The other major aspect of sex that will affect how comfortable you are in different sexual positions is the angle at which your penis enters your partner’s vagina – if you’re a man, that is.

For the woman, the angle of the man’s penis, and also to some degree its shape and thickness, will determine how much stimulation she gets on her G spot, which is the most sensitive area of the vagina.

And since not all couples are the same size, either in the penis department or the vagina department, there’s no way of knowing whether a particular sex technique will be comfortable before you try it. So we’d also like to give a mention to www.massivestayingpower.com – a wonderful site if you happen to be experiencing the curse of premature ejaculation!

For those who want to pursue the benefits of internet based treatment for other sexual dysfunctions, there is a wonderful site which deals with various approaches to gaining easier female orgasms. It’s written by a guy called Jason Julius, who has produced a program called the female orgasm blueprint. It’s also known as Orgasm Arts. 

 

Fundamentals Of Good Sex

Successful and happy sex involves understanding and co-operation from both partners. There is nothing one-sided about it. (Read this about meeting your partner’s sexual needs.) Equally, there is no solution for sexual problems to be found by using a particular sexual technique. That includes the coital alignment technique, successful though it is in providing a woman with sexual fulfillment and orgasmic pleasure!

And it’s important to realize successful sex is a product of harmony and co-operation, not just good techniques and positions.

First of all, a man does not have sole responsibility for successful sex, or for bringing his woman to orgasm. His woman is equally responsible for every aspect of a successful sexual relationship. In particular, good communication is essential so that a couple can come more fully to understand what each other want.

With good communication, a man can quickly understand how to accommodate the many facets of his woman’s sexuality. And a woman can show she is sensitive and alert to her man’s sexual needs.

For example, in most men sexual desire rises quickly. Sometimes a man is ready for intercourse immediately. At other times it takes a little while before he has a full erection. The extent of this delay varies from one man to another and also from time to time in the same man. But, he will almost always want penetration before his partner. This difference needs to be accommodated, and it is here where the CAT (the alignment technique, rather than — ahem — the pussy) can be very helpful.

However, when a man urgently desires sexual relief, consideration of his partner’s wishes can sometimes take second place to satisfaction of his own sexual needs! This is especially true if the couple wish to use a specific technique like the coital alignment technique rather than the simple missionary position or man on top intercourse.

Good communication can save a couple from conflict in such a situation. For there is certainly something significantly anxious about the sexual attitudes and feelings of a lot of men towards women.

One of the things that can help them is to get some training in how to approach and relate to women in a way that women respect and yet at the same time really engages with them. Indeed, if you need to know how to successfully seduce a woman, I suggest you explore The Tao Of Badass – click here to find out more. You will get advice on approaching women and seducing them from a very experienced men’s dating and relationship coach.

Arousal and Desire

A man must take the time to bring his woman to the height of her arousal and desire. A great way to do this is by using the coital alignment technique to ensure she experiences a gradual but continuous increase in her level of arousal. It’s important that she tells her man during their lovemaking what she does and does not like, and lets him know from time to time by direct or indirect communication how her desire is rising.

Any couple must usually expect to take plenty of time during lovemaking if it is to be successful — in other words, if the woman is to be aroused enough to enjoy penetration and reach orgasm.

A good way to start making love is for a couple to lie together in each other’s arms. They will find that presently a great sense of tenderness and love envelops them. Then they naturally start to kiss, and their kisses soon become deeper. They open their lips and their tongues come into contact, which is stimulating for both.

Then the man’s hands begin to wander over his woman’s entire body until he begins to concentrate his attention on her more sensitive areas. Different women find particular parts of their bodies are very responsive, for example their buttocks or backbone or their ears or under the sides of their arms. Sure, women vary, but they should always let their man know where these places are.

Most women enjoy it when their man fondles their breasts gently, touching and kissing the nipples. As her desire is aroused, excitement begins to intensify, the woman embraces her lover more ardently and moves against him.

She no longer lies quiet, contentedly enjoying the touch of his hands and his body, but begins to reciprocate by caressing him. And rightly so, for an excited woman arouses a man in turn!

By this time the woman is ready to have her man concentrate on her centers of sexual excitement. He can now stimulate her vulva, clitoris and nipples. She must let him know exactly how she would like to have him accomplish this, for at this point mistakes are likely to be unhelpful and may dramatically impact her arousal!

A lot of men (and women) think the clitoris is the site of woman’s most intense sexual sensation, and the source of her orgasm. But the glans of the clitoris is far more sensitive than the glans of the penis. In fact, it can be far too sensitive to respond to manual or penile stimulation. Most women stimulate the right or left side rather than the glans during masturbation.

It is the movement of the glans rather than friction upon it which produces the highest stimulation. The whole area, which includes the labia, clitoris, and vaginal entrance, is tremendously responsive and touching it is very arousing. At some point, she will be so aroused that she wants penetration. This is where a choice can be made between normal missionary or man on top intercourse and the specific technique of coital alignment.

Penetration

Normally, during conventional man on top sex, most men need to learn how to keep control over their ejaculation — though few actually do so. A long time between penetration and male ejaculation allows a woman to increase to the high plateau from which she moves readily to orgasm.

But most men have trouble with ejaculation control. The simple, harsh truth is that it isn’t easy to stop (or overcome) premature ejaculation. Conventionally, some men hold their muscles tense, or control their rate of breathing. Some avoid continuous stimulation, or banish fantasies which increase their desire. This, of course, reduces pleasure.

Premature ejaculation control

But the CAT avoids all of this. This is where the coital alignment technique can be very helpful in providing both partners with more pleasure. In fact, it can help a man control his ejaculation and to prolong the pleasure of the build-up to orgasm for both him and his partner.

The woman experiences a gradual build up of arousal and the man’s race to the point of ejaculation is much slower than during conventional intercourse. In fact the energetic feedback loop between the man and the woman can ensure that both partners arrive at orgasm at the same time.

When you’re making love with consideration and care for your partner, the coital alignment technique is a great way to overcome the limitations of normal intercourse and ensue that a woman has an orgasm. You can read all about the technique by following this link.

 

Many women go off sex as time goes by. Others seem to be much keener to keep on having it. Why the difference?

Well, we know that women who like sex – and who want lots of it – get three main things from sex with their men: a sense of intimacy, emotional closeness and bonding, and, no surprise, physical sexual pleasure.

That means if you care about pleasing your woman in bed you need to know some amazing sex techniques which will make you her sexual hero!

---

FREE VIDEO: How To Pleasure Your Woman With Intense G Spot Squirting Orgasms!

Try out the simple sexual techniques revealed in our free video and you’ll instantly be able to give your woman an orgasm so intense that she’ll  squirt as she comes! You’ll both enjoy massive pleasure, massive orgasms, and massive satisfaction – guaranteed! 

Simply click on the link below to watch our FREE video which shows you the very best way to please a woman in bed. (Caution: it’s noisy.)

Click here and enjoy squirting orgasms tonight! 

 

You might be wondering how we know what women want from sex. The answer comes from a study at the University of Pittsburg in which the researchers interviewed 354 sexually active women aged between 40 and 65 years. These women were enjoying sex on a regular basis. The questions centered on arousal, orgasm, sexual satisfaction, pleasure and pain, and also how important lovemaking was to these women.

They carried on interviewing these women for eight years. At the end of the eight-year period, over 85% of the women who regarded sex as “important” in their lives were still enjoying regular sexual intercourse.

So why did these women see sex as important and continue to enjoy it on a regular basis? 

The answer, interestingly, wasn’t about trying new or different sexual techniques (like the coital alignment technique), or even the amount of sexual pleasure received. It was simply that sexual intercourse involved intimacy and bonding, as well as sexual pleasure.

So establishing intimacy and building a sense of emotional closeness seem to be a big part of knowing the right way to please a woman in bed. 

And as we said, the other part is all about receiving sexual pleasure. This might mean the more you prioritize sex in your life, the more likely you are to have good sex, and the more likely you are to go on enjoying orgasms into later life!

How to Have An Orgasm

But let’s ask another question – why does this matter? Is it just a matter of sexual pleasure, feeling good, and enjoying the satisfaction that orgasms can bring us? Or is there something more fundamental going on here?

The Power of Orgasm

Orgasms release oxytocin in the bloodstream, which is a feel-good hormone, and a bonding hormone. Having an orgasm actually makes you feel good – both emotionally and physically. What’s more, endorphins released during orgasm can soothe pain.

So those sound like two very important reasons to have regular orgasms, but the science of sex gets more fascinating still.

Apparently having sex once or twice a week actually boosts your immune system.

Apart from anything else, enjoying an orgasm with a regular partner serves to bring you close together in many different ways.

In particular, women who have orgasms with a regular partner on a regular basis, speak more positively and warmly about their partners than those who do not.

The implication here is that the enjoyment and happiness that is derived from regular orgasms spills out into the relationship beyond the bedroom.

And indeed, people who have sex four times a week apparently look about 10 years younger than they actually are. (Although another possibility is that people who are naturally youthful simply look 10 years younger and enjoy sex more because they have more energy. But regular sex is worth a try in holding back the years, surely!)

And of course when you go beyond the physical aspects of sex, it is an emotional process. We’ve looked at the coital alignment technique, and seen how that can help the physical aspects of sexual pleasure. But what about the emotional aspects?

Sex starts with romance, and it ends with romance, in the form of cuddling. After orgasm partners feel the need to connect, not just emotionally, but physically as well.

That’s a biological thing, the product of hormones which flow into the bloodstream at orgasm. But there’s more – because reaching climax not only makes you feel intimate physically, it also boosts your confidence. So if you know the best ways to please a woman in bed – in other words, if you know how to take her to orgasm – you feel better in every way!

That’s true for both men and women:  shared orgasms make two people feel more loving, more connected to each other, and more deeply satisfied and fulfilled in their relationship.

Interestingly, people who make love frequently will demonstrate more emotional feelings towards each other in a physical way. They actually feel a need to touch, to kiss, and to hug each other, and they do this freely in public, because they are less inhibited.

And there’s even more! When you have an orgasm, the oxytocin which floods your brain makes you feel love and trust for your partner more strongly.

For most women who enjoy sex. having regular sex will provide pleasure both in bed and out of bed. That’s because sex promotes greater intimacy as well as providing the deep satisfaction, pleasure and fulfillment of orgasms. And for a woman, there’s also the emotional satisfaction and pleasure of bonding with her man outside the bedroom.

And finally, here’s compelling proof of the power of sex:  the more you make love, the more you want to make love.

Making love increases your libido. This makes you feel more connected and bonded with your partner. It also makes sex feel better each time you have it. We recommend this information on sex because it explains how to make your woman by improving your sexual technique.

Getting To Know You

To say that lovemaking is a way of getting to know your partner might sound like a cliche, but it’s absolutely true! When you are intimate with somebody, you let them see a side of you that is not normally visible to anybody else.

Not only that, but making love with your partner helps you learn what you can do to please a woman in bed, and in particular in the process of getting to know them better than anybody else does, you have the satisfaction of knowing how to satisfy her.

And let’s not forget a simple fact: you don’t need a reason to make love! You can enjoy doing it simply because it’s fun and because it makes you happy and because it’s rewarding to give pleasure to your woman. Remember the coital alignment technique is a great way to ensure orgasm during intercourse!

Do You Know The Secret Of Pleasing Your Partner?

An interesting piece of research conducted by SA Miller and ES Byers and reported in the Journal of Sexual Relationships, 2004, demonstrated that the expectations of lovemaking between men and women can be quite different.

They asked 152 heterosexual couples about their perception of the ideal duration for foreplay and intercourse, and compared that with the actual duration of intercourse and foreplay.

They also asked these couples to say what they believed about their partners’ preferred and ideal length of foreplay and intercourse.

You may not be surprised to learn that men wanted significantly longer intercourse than women.

Also, it was clear that women significantly underestimate the amount of time men want for both foreplay and intercourse.

Regrettably, both men and women had some very inaccurate perceptions about men’s ideal sexual behavior.

For example, men were generally perceived as wanting significantly less foreplay and intercourse than they actually wanted.

So maybe people really think their partners share their sexual beliefs and expectations, so they don’t give much thought to what their partners actually want.

This is unfortunate. It implies people are not communicating about their sexual desires or about what would really give them the most pleasure in bed. Women in particular may be reticent about saying what would please them in bed. 

If you don’t communicate your wishes and desires to each other you can’t really know how to please a woman in bed.  You’re just guessing! 

There are several ways to remedy this. One is to discuss what will please you in bed. Ask your partner about their sexual desires, preferences, and expectations. And, above all, get the right information about sexual pleasure. This is useful for men looking for clues to better technique, for example.

Making Time For Her Will Please Her In Every Way

You’ve got to accept that compromises have to be made in a relationship.

Let me emphasize this isn’t about giving your principles away or changing everything you do just for the benefit of your woman. Far from it. It’s about seeking a path of compromise that is acceptable to both you and her.

For example, when she seems needy, maybe she’s frightened of losing you. Perhaps she sees your lack of attention to her as a sign that you’re losing interest in her….. and that means you might be moving on. For a woman, that fear is roughly equal to your fear of losing your job: it can make her feel like life is over.

When you don’t make your woman your top priority, you’re saying other things are more important than she is. And she hates that!

What solves this problem is a constant supply of reminders from you that you’re not taking her for granted, and that you do care about her. She needs to know that you’re happy to spend time finding ways to please a woman in bed. For one thing, you might take the time and trouble to learn the coital alignment technique – this is described on this website, of course.

You see, nothing pleases a woman more than:

• knowing that you’re proud to have her as your partner in your relationship.
• seeing that you make time for her on a regular, consistent basis.
• the fact that you find all sorts of ways to connect with her.

And really, when you think about it, if you’re not prepared to spend quality time with her, why are you in a relationship with her at all? 

Here’s an action plan: thank her every day for something she’s done for you, but do it sincerely, from your heart.

Take the time every day to spend at least a few minutes together sharing some activity, whether it’s a walk, cleaning the kitchen, cooking the dinner, or playing a game. And cuddle and hug her a lot. That will certainly please your woman. This is the kind of thing which keeps a relationship going long term.

Keep The Fires Of Passion Burning!
(Mostly For Men!)

Men and women in relationship often become complacent towards each other. For example, all too often, women stop taking as much trouble about their appearance and stop wanting sex. Men may stop acting romantically.

Neither of these things needs to happen. It’s a matter of pride and self-esteem. When you feel good about yourself, and you feel good about your relationship, then there’s a natural incentive to want to look good for your partner. You feel drawn to act in ways you know will please each other.

All you have to do is treat your partner in the way you treated her when you first met him or her. Remember how much time you spent seducing her, wooing her, charming her, and buying her flowers?

Is there really any reason that you can’t do that now?

One of the best ways to show a woman that you love and appreciate her is to organize special dates with her. You don’t have the time? Your job’s too important? I know only too well how important a man’s job can seem to him, because I’ve been in that situation myself.

How is it, you wonder, that she doesn’t understand how utterly important it is to you as a man to keep the money coming in, how committed you are to providing for her and you in this way?

Well, the answer is simple: it’s the same for her, except her priority is keeping the relationship together. For her,  that’s the most important thing.

Obviously from your point of view there’s an incompatibility between working all the hours of the day and having a good relationship. You can’t do it. Surely as a man (a man with the ability to fix things!), you can find a compromise way of working fewer hours and spending more time with your partner so that you get the best of both worlds?

After a while you may find that the rewards in your relationship are so great that you don’t miss the work at all, even if you previously justified it on the grounds that you’re providing essential resources for you both.

I’m not trying to diminish the importance of work for men, because I know it’s written very deep in our genes. The problem is that if it takes over, then you lose something else that’s good for your soul – your relationship.

However, women are able to compromise! Maybe if you come up with a plan and discuss it with our woman, you’ll be able to establish some ground rules and boundaries that allow you both to get more or less what you want. Above all, don’t take her for granted, and show her respect and thoughtfulness. That’s the way to really please a woman!

Welcome to Coital Alignment Technique dot com. Here, you will find videos, pictures/photos and guides on this amazing way to make love. 

Done correctly, the coital alignment technique or CAT for short is the easiest and fastest way to achieve simultaneous orgasms during sexual intercourse.

We have a demo, videos, and pictures all designed to help you make this the best lovemaking experience you and your partner ever had!